The reasonable man adjusts himself to suit his surroundings, the unreasonable man adjusts his surroundings to suit him. Therefore progress relies on the unreasonable man. (no idea who wrote that or how accurate it is to the original but it's not mine!)

It's hard to see any kind of beauty if you have your head stuck up your own arse.

Murphy's law states that everything that can go wrong will go wrong. He forgot to add "and it will be your fault" at the end of it.

Academic progress is no reflection of Intelligence. There are plenty of painfully stupid graduates out there.

White hetrosexual men are the only people left to bully in the eyes of the law (words to that effect were said by Billy Connelly)

America could be said to be the capital of the world. From what I hear from most Americans, Ireland is the father of America.

A relationship with your partner is very much like a car - it WILL break down from time to time but if YOU don't put the effort in to repair it, it's your fault every bit as much as the car's.

Wear your heart on your sleeve and the wrong person could use it to wipe their nose.